Realistic Expectations in Shidduchim

The Parshah of Shidduchim needs to be understood in the context of the world we currently live in. Both sides are more picky than they used to be, but they don’t actually understand what they’re looking for because they don’t understand how they’re idea translates into reality.

Both sides are more picky than they used to be, but they don’t actually understand what they’re looking for because they don’t understand how they’re idea translates into reality.
Example: A girl wants a guy that’s outgoing, but when she actually dates an outgoing person, he doesn’t appeal to her.

Editing a resume to have it be more detailed makes it worse in the long run because it builds a higher and constructs almost unrealistic expectations that don’t translate well into reality. This is probably because marriage isn’t precise with these little things especially since they’re living together and also have to experience the minor flaws of the other person. Thus, a perfectionist fantasy of a marriage is counterproductive to finding a soulmate.

Many of the issues that my friends have or had with their marriages were based on things that most people would find irrelevant to put on a Shidduch resume but end up playing a role in maintaining or destroying the marriage such as the little nuances of the other person.

For example, no one puts, on their resume, when they prefer to sleep. It’s a topic that came up on a date, but it’d be considered strange to put it on a resume. These details might be mentioned on a date, but most people would think that there’s no reason to have them on a resume.