Gittin: Are There Any Solutions??

Modern society has many issues, but it is important to make sure that our ideas of how to solve issues are not at the expense of Halakhah. Gerushin (Divorce) the issues it has on the parents and children involved is serious cancer in our society.

Contemporary society has a flawed understanding of marriage. There is not only a crisis in the area of divorce but also in marriage. Religious Jews are getting married at later ages, there’s difficulty in finding a shidduch, and this is even more so true for those trying to get remarried. There’s endless social issues affecting Klal Yisrael. However, out of these issues, the topic that has the least amount of attention is the issues with Gittin and Gerushin. 

So the question is, who would want to get married if all of these potential issues can exist? How do we fight the issues that are affecting religious divorce world wide? The question is quite loaded, and the answers are quite complex.

First, the major changes need to come from what children are taught in the school system. They need to be taught how to negotiate. This is relevant when dealing with the essential dissolution of a family unit that takes place when someone separates from their spouse.

 Women should not be taught that they are owed everything in a marriage including their sons (who are supposed to learn Torah directly from their father). Western society spoils women and makes them entitled, and this mindset must change for society to improve itself.

The incentivization of selfishness in modern-day relationships is destructive to the children involved in these unstable affairs. They will suffer the most. Before people begin dating for the purpose of marriage, people need to be taught not to abuse the system for personal gain. Our women are being encouraged, by the secular culture, to lie about their husbands which will only lead to more problems.

A Bill of Divorce that was unjustifiably forced is called a Gett Meusah (גט מעושה). The aforementioned concept is when the coercion is not allowed. Both men and women need to be taught the consequences of a mishandled גט. Not only should they be weary of creating a but also of the dangers of marrying someone who was given a גט מעושה, marrying someone who comes from a background where the act of making a גט מעושה is normal, or marrying a ממזר. People should also be careful when dating those who are accustomed to seeing a plethora of divorces in their own family as these people might have a perverse understanding of committed relationships. If a woman sincerely wanted a גט, she should want one that is made properly which is not what is being done by the current system.

The biggest issue pertaining to divorce is seeing a relationship as one-sided which is in essence a unilateral relationship stemming from the belief that a relationships is for the sole benefit of one of the two parties. Marriage and Divorce are bilateral concepts. The man has to give the thing that initiates the change in relationship status, but the woman has to agree too.

Mediation is key. The spouse does not have to be an adversary. It does not have to become a civil war in Klal Yisrael. It would be best for the mediation to be done before going to the courts. Unfortunately, entities like Shalom Taskforce use fraudulent methods to everything but promote shalom in our communities. They are an enemy of the Nation of Israel because they are against mediation. They turned the process of divorce into a civil war which is tearing our nation apart.