Monogamy vs Polygamy from the Perspective of The Torah and Rabbanim

The political correctness of modern society does not encourage people to use words like “בעלה” – the Hebrew term for “husband”. Rather, they may say “man” (איש) instead. Political correctness has changed the way in which people perceive the terminology of many relevant concepts and social structures due to a change in the outlook of reality at large.

Historically, a man could have more than one wife. King Solomon was the wealthiest king in Israel, and he had 700 wives and 300 hundred concubines. Historically, having additional wives was for the wealthy. The sages also discussed whether or not it was permissible for a man to be obligated to divorce from one wife before remarrying. They did not all agree that a husband should do so.The Christian Church banned polygamy around the year 1,000 CE. Jews living in Christian-majority countries could be threatened and targeted by the Christians for their polygamous lifestyle. Thus, the prominent rabbi, Rabbeinu Gershom (960-1040 CE), issued a temporary decree to ban polygamy for Ashkenazic Jews, he enforced Monogamy through various rabbinic decrees. The prohibition includes the ban on men needlessly divorcing their wives or being married to multiple women at once. He also banned the usage of unilateral divorce on women. These decrees were done because the Christians had banned polygamy, and those where the kingdoms that the Ashkenazic Jews were living under.

Meanwhile, the Sephardic and Mizraḥi Jews, living under Islamic rule, did not have ban on polygamy or divorce. In fact, their society was closest to what the Jewish world was like in matters of marriage and divorce for Jews of older times.

But even for Asheknazic Jews, a unilateral divorce is still kosher even if he divorced his wife against her objection because the temporary prohibition of Rabbeinu Gershom no longer applies as it was merely a 500 year ban, and it was never universal among all Jews since Sephardim/Mizrahim didn’t accept it. A man is not sinning by having more than one wife, and if she doesn’t want the bill of divorce, then it is her problem. Currently, women are more likely to refuse the bill of divorce…

The decrees of Rabbeinu Gershom were practiced in a society that limited divorce whether it be initiated by the husband or wife. Because most Jews no longer live in a society where most people are religious, the ability to uphold his decrees are not practical for many Jews in the current era where there are issues involving the regular usage of גירושין. Rabbeinu Gershom was promoting the formation of a societies where גירושין was limited.

Many of the Gedolei Yisrael deal with complex issues including those that pertain to the laws of marriage and divorce. These Rabbanim have given many answers to the problems pertaining to these topics. These types of issues have been going on for thousands of years. There is a large body of information that one could learn in regards to such topics.