Adultery: Eishet Ish

What if a woman is married and violates the laws of marriage by being with a different man during the marriage? Understanding the parameters of what is not acceptable in a marriage will help gauge into the idea of what is ideal.

For a woman to desecrate the holy union of marriage (by being with another man), she is committing the terrible sin of adultery. Both the man and woman involved are committing a sin that is liable to being כרת from the World to Come unless he or she repents. The man, who is with an אשת איש, is punished regardless of his marital status. The sin of adultery is clearly stated in Exodus 20:13 and Leviticus 18:20. 

According to the Torah, the sin of adultery is punishable by death (add source). This is not practically applied in contemporary times, but she is banned from her husband and the adulterer (add source). The term “אשת איש” is the reference to this sin.

A child, who is born from an adulterous relationship, is called a “mamzer” (ממזר). This term is used with negative connotation because it is the only type of person that is born from an unholy relationship. A goy is more “normal” since his birth wasn’t based on the violation of the holy Torah. The adulterer is held responsible for being with an  אשת איש even if he did not know he was doing this sin. In the connotation of adultery, אשת איש means “woman of another man”.

A ממזר is still Jewish, but a ממזר can only marry another ממזר unless certain rituals are performed [add more]. This is the only way remove the status of being a ממזר from their children under very specific circumstances. If not, then the children of a ממזר are also a ממזר, and this is true for even seven generations later! In summary, no one wants to be a ממזר, and no one wants to be responsible for making a ממזר. It ruins the spiritual pedigree of a Jew, and this is something that we try to avoid.

The sin of אשת איש is one of the 39 sins where one can lose their share in the World to Come by transgressing (add source). This is regardless of the marital status of the man involved in the sin. Adultery is also one of the three sins that one is justified in taking his or her own life to avoid. These sins are Murder, Adultery, and Idolatry. If someone is threatened (with death) to commit any of these sins, then it is better to allow himself to be killed (add source).

Adultery is such a grave sin that it is forbidden for an אשת איש to be in seclusion (ייחוד) with another man (Kiddushin 80b). The Torah even puts an emphasis on the dangers of violating a woman who merely had an אירוסין‎ but not an קידושין (Devarim 22:25, Sanhedrin 73a,Yoma 82a).

The methods of preventing a ממזר from being made are the details in the controversies behind officiating divorce…How do such relationships end? Does Judaism accept divorce? For a Pilegesh or an אשת איש to get a divorce, there’s a different system for each, but they both have one thing in common: the man initiated the relationship.

A Pilegesh can leave her man by voluntarily ending the relationship or finding a new man to be [in such a relationship] with. On the other hand, an אשת איש can only re-marry through a bill of divorce or the death of the husband (Kiddushin 2a).

There are important terms to remember. A divorced woman is a Gerushah (גרושה). A widowed woman is an Almanah (אלמנה). Once a husband is confirmed dead – niftar (נפטר), then the אלמנה has no restrictions preventing her from remarrying after the mourning period is over…